When I made the decision to breed Surf, I was super excited and very much looking forward to having puppies to raise as I really need some joy in my life. Raising puppies is absolutely exhausting (to do it right, anyway) but incredibly rewarding and delightfully fun! That said, as a licensed tech who worked with a repro vet for 10 years, I know all too well the multitude of things that can go wrong when you breed dogs. It causes me great anxiety, and even more so this time around with Surf. Sometimes ignorance is bliss!!!
Anyone that knows me, knows that Rival was a one in a million, he LIVED for me and we had the deepest bond that I have ever shared with a dog. It was like he knew what I was thinking before I even had the thought! Surf has always been sensitive to me, and after Rival died, she seemed to just know she had to take on a new role---both with me and the other dogs in the house. In the wake of Rival's death, she and I bonded intensely and she's worked hard to fill the void he left. And she's done an amazing job of it. While I love all of my dogs tremendously, Surf and I share an incredibly intense bond now.
For those that followed all of her bad experiences as a puppy, it was clear that the trust she had in me as a wee pup had completely broken. I couldn't keep her safe, and she knew it. It's taken time, but now she trusts me completely again, and I am so grateful for it. She trusts me to keep her safe, and I will always do my best to do that. Even more so right now!
Rave comes from very fertile and easy whelping lines. Priv does too. I fully expect that if Surf is pregnant, that it should be a textbook pregnancy and whelping. But, in the back of my mind sit the nagging thoughts of all things that can go wrong---resorption, stuck puppies, eclampsia, mastitis, the list goes on! It's when I starting going down that road, that I have to remind myself that dogs have given birth for centuries, and Surf will be fine as long as I take good care of her and pay close attention. The thing is, if anything ever happened to her because of *my* decision to breed her, I don't know that I could live with it. And I think in general that is what separates breeders who have dogs just to use their reproductive organs vs. breeders who are breeding their beloved companions.
So the best thing to do for myself mentally is be prepared for the worst, while thinking only the best thoughts! I do think Surf was born to be a mother---she adores puppies, goes looking for crying babies and is just a gentle soul (except when it comes to playing with her momma or working sheep!). She is a low stress dog by nature and knows how to chill when nothing is going on, so I think those qualities are good ones for a future momma. Though I can still see her jumping out of the whelping box, over the baby gate and out the dog door when it's play time!
On top of my normal breeding anxieties, we now have the added anxieties of what is happening with this coronavirus. Just working out the ultrasound for Surf was very stressful for me, since they don't want owners in the vet clinic anymore. But I absolutely refuse to have a pregnant dog be put through the stress of being taken from me, flipped over my strangers and held down while being probed. I am sure getting the xray scheduled will be equally as stressful on me! And what if something goes wrong and we need medical intervention during whelping??? I hate the thought of her being taken away from me for even a minute. Then we move on to when the pups are born, how on earth will I be able to socialize them as well as I normally do if we are still social distancing. That will take some creativity for sure. And will the new families still be in a position to take them? Can they arrange to come get the puppy? What about socializing in their home at that point?
I do believe the temperaments on these pups will be very sound. I don't think limited socialization will hurt them tremendously---heck look at all of the horrible stuff that Surf went through as a baby pup, and how she's turned out. No one would ever know now that at six months of age she was pretty traumatized. Genetics plays a HUGE role in that. The quality of socialization will be way more important than quantity.
We just don't know how the next few months are going to look, in any facet of life. Everything feels uncertain and tenuous right now. To stay sane, I make sure to exercise daily, get the dogs out for walks every day and focus on the positives we do have right now.
Some wonderful folks are offering free online classes, which is amazing. Jane Lindquist has a free online puppy class starting on Sunday. Tracy Skelar has a free online puppy group running. Folks are running first aid, fitness and mental management events for free. What an amazing community to pull together and share as much knowledge as possible during these stressful and isolating times.
We have to wait five more days to find out if Surf is pregnant. I can't wait to know!!!
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