Breeding and anxiety

When I made the decision to breed Surf, I was super excited and very much looking forward to having puppies to raise as I really need some joy in my life.   Raising puppies is absolutely exhausting (to do it right, anyway) but incredibly rewarding and delightfully fun!  That said, as a licensed tech who worked with a repro vet for 10 years, I know all too well the multitude of things that can go wrong when you breed dogs.  It causes me great anxiety, and even more so this time around with Surf.  Sometimes ignorance is bliss!!!

Anyone that knows me, knows that Rival was a one in a million, he LIVED for me and we had the deepest bond that I have ever shared with a dog.  It was like he knew what I was thinking before I even had the thought!  Surf has always been sensitive to me, and after Rival died, she seemed to just know she had to take on a new role---both with me and the other dogs in the house.  In the wake of Rival's death, she and I bonded intensely and she's worked hard to fill the void he left.  And she's done an amazing job of it.  While I love all of my dogs tremendously, Surf and I share an incredibly intense bond now.

For those that followed all of her bad experiences as a puppy, it was clear that the trust she had in me as a wee pup had completely broken.  I couldn't keep her safe, and she knew it.  It's taken time, but now she trusts me completely again, and I am so grateful for it.  She trusts me to keep her safe, and I will always do my best to do that.  Even more so right now!

Rave comes from very fertile and easy whelping lines.  Priv does too.  I fully expect that if Surf is pregnant, that it should be a textbook pregnancy and whelping.  But, in the back of my mind sit the nagging thoughts of all things that can go wrong---resorption, stuck puppies, eclampsia, mastitis, the list goes on!  It's when I starting going down that road, that I have to remind myself that dogs have given birth for centuries, and Surf will be fine as long as I take good care of her and pay close attention.  The thing is, if anything ever happened to her because of *my* decision to breed her, I don't know that I could live with it.  And I think in general that is what separates breeders who have dogs just to use their reproductive organs vs. breeders who are breeding their beloved companions. 

So the best thing to do for myself mentally is be prepared for the worst, while thinking only the best thoughts!  I do think Surf was born to be a mother---she adores puppies, goes looking for crying babies and is just a gentle soul (except when it comes to playing with her momma or working sheep!).   She is a low stress dog by nature and knows how to chill when nothing is going on, so I think those qualities are good ones for a future momma.  Though I can still see her jumping out of the whelping box, over the baby gate and out the dog door when it's play time!

On top of my normal breeding anxieties, we now have the added anxieties of what is happening with this coronavirus.  Just working out the ultrasound for Surf was very stressful for me, since they don't want owners in the vet clinic anymore.  But I absolutely refuse to have a pregnant dog be put through the stress of being taken from me, flipped over my strangers and held down while being probed.  I am sure getting the xray scheduled will be equally as stressful on me!  And what if something goes wrong and we need medical intervention during whelping???  I hate the thought of her being taken away from me for even a minute.  Then we move on to when the pups are born, how on earth will I be able to socialize them as well as I normally do if we are still social distancing. That will take some creativity for sure.  And will the new families still be in a position to take them?  Can they arrange to come get the puppy?  What about socializing in their home at that point? 

I do believe the temperaments on these pups will be very sound.  I don't think limited socialization will hurt them tremendously---heck look at all of the horrible stuff that Surf went through as a baby pup, and how she's turned out.  No one would ever know now that at six months of age she was pretty traumatized.  Genetics plays a HUGE role in that.   The quality of socialization will be way more important than quantity.

We just don't know how the next few months are going to look, in any facet of life.  Everything feels uncertain and tenuous right now.  To stay sane, I make sure to exercise daily, get the dogs out for walks every day and focus on the positives we do have right now. 

Some wonderful folks are offering free online classes, which is amazing.  Jane Lindquist has a free online puppy class starting on Sunday.  Tracy Skelar has a free online puppy group running.  Folks are running first aid, fitness and mental management events for free.  What an amazing community to pull together and share as much knowledge as possible during these stressful and isolating times.

We have to wait five more days to find out if Surf is pregnant.  I can't wait to know!!!

The dogs we love

In having conversations with other folks the last few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about the dogs we choose to share our lives with.  The dogs I have now are considerably different than the dogs I had 20 years ago, before I got hooked on dog sports.  The dogs I had back then were "just pets" and I started dabbling in different things with them, to keep them happy and enriched.  Over time, I got more into the dog sports and the desire to have a dog that was easier to motivate and had more energy kicked in.

But now that we are in a state of social distancing, and dog sports are not an option at the moment, how does that affect the dogs we choose to live with?  Honestly, I doubt they really care as long as their needs are being met.  Sure, I have dogs that love going to agility trials and other events, but I truly think they are equally as happy going for a long hike, swimming in the pond or playing agility in the front yard.  Dogs don't need to compete at trials, heck for some dogs out there, they would probably prefer not to as their handler turns into a freak who they don't recognize sometimes at trials!!

Since I've had some things going on personally, I haven't even trained my dogs with any regularity since mid December.  I have not had the motivation, time or energy to do so.  Do they miss the training?  Yes, I surely think so.  Are they okay without it?  You bet they are.  They are still getting their daily walks and runs, they get enrichment in the form of frozen kongs, bones and food toys and they get daily play time with special toy-toys and sometimes a fun game of frisbee.  Even though they haven't been doing much training, they are still super happy and content just being companions!

One of the homes of a puppy from my last litter was concerned for a while that her puppy wasn't "keeping up with the littermates" and out there competing in dog sports.  When she got the puppy, she fully anticipated doing agility, dock diving and anything else her pup loved.  But her life changed unexpectedly, leaving not much room for any of that.  Because she was feeling like she wasn't meeting the needs of her dog, and perhaps disappointing me as the breeder, she considered returning him to me.  We had a very emotional conversation, and in the end, as long as any puppy I produce is LOVED, stimulated, exercised and enriched, how could I ever be disappointed?  Dog sports are not the be all end all.  When you have a dog who calms your anxiety, makes you smile when you are sad and is an integral part of the family, that's way more important.

As a breeder, I am producing pups that need a "job"---they are highly intelligent, energetic and have brains that need to work.  But that doesn't have to be a dog sport---they can be hiking/riding companions, service dogs, best friends to kids and backyard frisbee champions.  They aren't couch potatoes, that's for sure!  Yet, I also want them to be able to succeed in competitions, in whatever sport folks choose to do.  Because yes, I do like to be competitive---I don't see the point in training a dog in agility if you aren't going to compete.  I'd rather just train tricks or go hiking.  But I also like knowing that the dogs I produce can go out and compete happily, and have the mental resilience to handle the pressures of competing.  And I am always proud when they do well!  But I am equally proud of the dog that can run around in a pack of eight children and handle it like a champ!

It will be interesting to see how things play out over the next few months, without any dog events to attend.  But I can bet that it will be the people going crazy, not the dogs!  Since I decided to breed Surf, I had already pretty much accepted that I'd be home for a few months, aside from a couple of trials to finish Gypsy's ADCH (which I have to sit patiently on now!).  I try to limit exposure to pathogens for my girls when they are pregnant, and even more so after the pups are born.  So mentally I was fully prepared for some social distancing, while most other people had a full calendar to look forward to.

I am going to use this time to finally train Mako's contacts, revisit the many online classes I have in my library to train some new things and keep spending tons of time outside with my dogs!